If sleeping would be a crime I would be writing this in jail. You’ll know all about it by the end of the story.

A lot has happened since things were seen flying down my balcony courtesy of my 2-year-old a few months ago during the lockdown. I’ve heard and experienced terrible twos with my daughter and ow Jahan. This January I was very ecstatic celebrating Jahans 3rd birthday thinking the worst is over and we’ve made it to the other side. We have strong pigeon nets in all our balconies and double loves in all our doors. With the house secured I bought a new phone, nobody got seriously hurt apart from a few broken things. And life seemed to be good.

One evening in February I came back home tired, Ohanna was out playing and Rambha aunty was finishing up dinner. I entered the room and Jahan was engrossed in watching Ben and holly on Tv. After giving him a hug I thought let just go change and come back. I heard Rambha aunty scream, and as I entered the room I saw Jahan standing on the Tv console with a plastic bat hitting the wall light and arguing with Rambha aunty to let him continue with his noble act. Of course, the light was broken and thankfully no one got hurt.

I should have known that this was only the beginning of Terrible 3’s.

The auspicious festival of Holi is to forget all old differences and come together and celebrate. But no one told us about what to do if disagreements get formulated on the day of Holi. It was a fun morning Jahan wassuowr excited playing with the most organic colours available in the market and the 100 water balloons he had in his blue bucket. We went down to greet a few brave people who had got their kids to play holi with everyone as Corona cases were just beginning to rise again. Around 1 pm Jahan was feeling cold and we decided to head back home to change. I went and had spicy, tangy and sweet holi lunch and headed home around 3 to finally change and sleep.

Around 5 there was some commotion in the house and Rambha aunty was trying to take Jahan down. It was quiet for some time and as I was trying to wake up after my nap I saw a very worried looking Rambha aunty and all the others including 4 guards at the entrance. Sadhguru always says that Hindu festivals are celebrated on days with special vibrations and energies. Well, I don’t know about others but Jahan had access to special powers. As Rambha aunty was grabbing his small blue bag with his snacks and water the everyday ritual was for Jahan to step out and press the down switch on the lift and grab his scooter.

But today was a special day a day when he would get a sudden burst of energy. It all happened in slow motion, Rambha saw Jahan holding his balance bike over his head and heading for the railing, as she stretched out her hand trying to stop the the unstoppable, it was to late as she saw the white and florescent green bike falling down from the 9th floor lift lobby.

Last time when my phone along with other things was thrown we had a concerned neighbour ringing our doorbell. Well, this time it was four guards and a couple of fuming neighbours with smoke blowing through their ears standing at our door. I was holding my head as they told me about the loud noise the fall had created and scared the hell out of the people. How the guard who was near the lifts barely escaped getting injured. And the three aluminium bars which had been displaced due to the impact.

By this time Jahan was making promises to everyone that ill never do it again, and Rambha aunty trying to explain to the guards that it was Jahan and not me. I had a tough time explaining that apart from being his father I had no role in all of this.

Every day brings something new, today it brought a formal notice from Resident Welfare Association seeking a formal apology, repairing the damage and tips on how to discipline your child.

I thank God everyday that no one got hurt including Jahan otherwise I would have been writing this in a Jail with fellow inmates laughing at the reason I had been put there in the first place.

Now the balcony lobby and all other holes have a net and everyone walks around the house with crossed fingers 🤞 hoping this never happens again.